Act 4
Scene 3
(Brutus and Cassius in a tent)
Cassius: What’s wrong with you, man? You made disgraced Pella for taking bribes. That’s just not cool.
Brutus: You would say something. You accept bribes like it’s your job.
Cassius: Oh yeah, well... you’re a bigger one!
Brutus: That doesn’t even make sense! Besides, I never take bribes.
(Enter Poet)
Poet: Don’t fight, guys! Here, I have a poem that will help.
Brutus: No one likes poets! Guards!
(enter two soldiers, who take Poet away)
You know what? I don’t have to take this. Portia just died.
Cassius: You did not just pull the dead wife card.
Brutus: It’s true.
Cassius: I’m so sorry. What happened?
Brutus: Well...
Subscene 1
(Enter Portia and 2 servants)
Servant 1: Portia, Brutus has been chased away by Antony and Octavius’ armies.
Portia: Leave. I need some time alone.
(exit servants, Portia goes crazy, runs into a wall, and dies)
End subscene
Cassius: Dude... bummer.
Brutus: Thanks man.
(Enter Titinius and Messala)
Good! You guys are here. Listen, I just received a letter saying Antony and Octavius are heading to Philippi. Get your armies ready to meet them there. Good night, all.
Cassius, Titinius, and Messala: Good night.
(Exit Cassius, Titinius, and Messala, enter Caesar’s ghost)
Ghost: Boo!
Brutus: Really? That’s so generic. You couldn’t think of anything better?
Ghost: Fine, I’ll try again... ooooOOOOoooooOoo. I am the GHOST- of Caaaeeeesssssaarrrrrrr. ooooOOOOooo.
Brutus: That was just pathetic. Why are you here?
Ghost: To say you’re a jerk, and I’m unfriending you on Facebook. Oh, and I’ll be seeing you later.
Brutus: Wait, what? Is that a threat?
Ghost: You bet your whiskers it is. See you at Philippi.
Brutus: Where?
Ghost: At Philippi.
Brutus: Where?
Ghost: Stop that!
(Exit Ghost)
oooooOOOoOoOoooo...
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