Shay Simmens on Unicorns

   Okay, there's this kid in my class named Shay Simmens. He's the kind of guy that everyone likes (except the teachers) because he's funny. He doesn't worry about his grade and even  less about his future. Anyways, at one point last year we had to do an animal project. We weren't supposed to do an essay, but that's what he did. I'm fairly certain we were supposed to do it on a real animal, too.


                                                                                                                                        Shay Simmens
                                                                                                                                                 per. 1-2
                                                                         Unicorns

   Once a majestic race, unicorns were very proud animals, with good reasons to be. However, due to excess hunting for their ivory horn and silk-like hyde, they have become greatly endangered if not extinct.
   These magnificent creatures were once found in Southern China, parts of Northern Africa, throughout Mexico, and all over Australia, where their close relative, the kangaroo, now resides.
   Their diet consists mainly of grass, carrots, lettuce, and, occasionally, french fries.
   They have mild behavioral traits, and rarely attack people, but have been known to stab people when they're injured or sick.
   I hope I have enlightened you readers who read this story about unicorns, so if you see one the know how to take care of it( if you don't get thrown in an insane asylum first).


                                                                                                                                    By Shay Simmens

The Nightwalkers run for their money

   On the East side of the town called Cityburg, there was once an organization of gangs. One of those gangs was known as the Nightwalkers, who mainly did their business on the alley connected Red Street and Neck Avenue. One day things were going smoothly, and their scout came back with this report.
   "Awight, boss." He said. "We got ou'selves some small change comin. A gi'l 'round fifteen headin ow ways. S'e carryin a lit'le purse an' tawkin on 'er phone. Dis could be ow last ting fo' de day."
   The Boss nodded. They'd had a good day. There was five people total in the gang. The Boss assigned one to hide behind the dumpster, two behind the trash cans, he'd be in the open, and the scout would get the girl into the alley.
   "Ay, gi'l." the scout said when she was by the alley."Why don't you's come wit me?" With that he pushed her into the alley.
   No one in the gang really saw what she did after that, but they had a pretty good idea. It looked like the girl reached into her purse, pulled her hand out, and touched the scout in the gut, causing him to crumple. When she turned around, she was holding a tranculizer, which she put back in her purse.
   The man behind the dumpster, seeing this, pulled out his gun. He was the only one that had one.
   The girl pulled her hand back out of her purse, this time holding a gun of her own. Before anyone could react, she fired twice, hitting the man with the gun in the hand and causing him to drop his weapon, and then hitting him in the leg. He, too, sank to the floor. She put the gun back in her purse and pulled out a can and gas mask. The girl pulled a string from the can, put on the gas mask, and threw it behind the trash cans. The guys hiding there tried to run, but fell down unconcious. The Nightwalker Boss ran when he saw the girl pull out brass knuckle gloves. Once he was gone, she smiled and began tying up the men laying around with some rope from her purse.
   Later, a gift was found outside the police station: four men bound together with expert Knots.
 

the man from the 1400's buys a computer

One day, I was toying around with my pocket time machine when I accidentally brought someone from the 1400's to our time. Needless to say, he was pretty confused. When I got done explaining what was going on with the technology and such, he demanded I take him back to his time. But first, he wanted to buy a computer. So I brought him to Best Buy.
    "Escuseth me, sir." He began talking to the clerk guy."But I'dth like to trade for one of thine's computers."
    "Macintosh?"
    "No, sire. I'mWilliam, son of Arthur."
    "Good for you. How 'bout a Windows?"
    "My house hath plenty of them."
    "So ya want Macintosh."
    "I've already told thee, I'm William."
    "No,no,no, Macintosh is a type of computer. Just like Windows."
    "Oh, thou couldst have just spoke that. I'll trade for thine's Macintosh."
    "Would you like any programs for that? Word? Paint?"
    "Why wouldst I paint on a computer?"
    "Ya know what? I'm just gonna sell you a Macintosh computer with a basic bundle." And the clerk got a box with a computer inside. The outside had pictures of different  programs and such it could do.
    "Divine."William exclaimed. And he paid for it with a bag of gold coins.(They'd be pretty valuable, considering how old they are.)
    Once we got outside, he took notce of the box."Witchcraft!" he yelled. He then smashed the box(computer inside) and threw it in the dumpster before I could explain."There." he said."The foul smelling beast hast eaten Mackin of toshe's sorcery. I wish to be back in my own time now."
    And that was what happened when I brought a man from the 1400's to our time. Don't ask me what happened when I dropped him off in 2157.
    What's up with the pocket time machine? That's a  story for another post.